Thursday, December 8, 2011

A new resolute resolution

This will be what I would consider a preemptive new-year's resolution. A new "year" can begin at any time right? So what is this new resolution you ask? You are reading it, right now. I wish to make known more of my thoughts so that they just don't disappear.

It's very interesting thinking about all the things I have experienced and, though my memory is yet keen, I know there are things that I don't remember about my life. I always ask myself: "Am I in the right place in my life that I need to be right now?" I feel I have been led to the path I have thus far followed. I also have this unshakable feeling that I have been destined for much more than the meager existence I am currently experiencing.

Then a question is asked: "What are you doing to get from where you are to where you feel destined to arrive?" This is obviously the hard part for me and probably most people. I have so many grandiose visions of my future  (and I believe I have been blessed with many of the gifts and tools to achieve them) but I still don't know how to get there. That's the rub. I can't seem to put one foot in front of the other for fear that if I do it the wrong way some of these visions I have for my future will not come to pass or I won't be able to achieve them. So then I am stuck in a loop; and with the weight of other things still pulling on me the loop inevitably becomes a downward spiral...

I don't mean for this to sound depressing. I wish to merely express my thoughts in order for me to clarify to my own self that what I am thinking is what I just described.

So. How to proceed? What first step do I take? Which one will lead me closer to the future I hope to have for myself and my family? Probably any of them. I am sure that the most important thing fight now will be to just take a step and then see where it leads. Spinning around in my limbo loop does no good for anyone except the adversary of all things good.

I believe that posting this thought wandering is a good step. My brain has far too long sat idle. It needs good stimulation and this will begin to facilitate that. I do also wish to continue the original purpose of this blog: to expand my thoughts about my own fiction and maybe draw conclusions for my own life from the lessons I can put into these fictional characters' lives.

I hope that, whoever you are reading this, you have been able to draw your own conclusions from my meanderings. I also hope that it made some sense. Until next time, may the road rise up to meet you, adieu.